Imagine needing nothing but you, to feel happy, at peace and fulfilled.

The Power of True Inner Independence: Finding Freedom Within

Have you ever stopped to think about why your mood can swing so much depending on what’s happening around you? Maybe your day feels ruined because someone said something hurtful, or perhaps you’re over the moon because you’ve achieved something significant at work. While it’s normal to feel connected to what’s happening outside of us, it can also be a bit exhausting, can’t it?

This happens because many of us rely on external things—people, places, achievements, or even random circumstances—to make us feel good inside. But there’s a better way to live. It’s called inner independence, and it’s a complete game-changer.

Let’s dive into what it means, why so many of us are stuck in the opposite (known as externalisation), and how embracing inner independence can bring you a kind of freedom you might not even know exists.

What Does Externalisation Mean?

Here’s a little story: Imagine a child at a fair holding a shiny, red balloon. The balloon makes them so happy—it’s the best thing ever! But then the balloon slips out of their hands, floats away, and suddenly they’re in tears. The joy is gone.

As adults, we don’t carry balloons around (at least, most of us don’t!), but we’re not all that different. We attach our happiness to things outside of us, like:

• People: We feel good when someone loves or approves of us.

• Stuff: We buy things, achieve goals, or chase success to feel valuable.

• Circumstances: We depend on “good vibes” from things like holidays or perfect weather.

And while there’s nothing wrong with enjoying these things, there’s a catch. When your happiness depends on stuff outside of you, you’re never fully in control. Someone cancels plans, a promotion doesn’t happen, or your favourite coffee shop is out of oat milk—and suddenly, your day feels ruined.

This is externalisation—putting your emotional well-being in the hands of things you can’t control.

Why Externalisation Creates Problems

When you rely on external stuff to feel good, it sets you up for a bumpy ride. Here’s why:

1. It Creates Insecurity - If your happiness depends on things you can’t control, you’re always going to feel a bit on edge. What if it all goes away?

2. It Brings Anxiety - To keep things feeling good, you’ll try to control everything and everyone around you. Spoiler alert: It’s exhausting and impossible.

3. It’s Never Enough - Even when things are going well, the joy doesn’t last. You’ll constantly chase the next win, approval, or shiny thing.

It’s like running on a treadmill that never stops.

So, What’s Inner Independence?

Now let’s flip the script. Imagine feeling calm, happy, and complete, no matter what’s going on around you. That’s inner independence. It’s about finding your peace and fulfilment inside yourself instead of relying on the outside world to deliver it.

Here’s what it looks like:

1. Emotional Freedom - You don’t need anyone or anything to feel good about yourself. Your happiness comes from within.

2. Letting Go of Control - You stop trying to force the world to fit your expectations. Instead, you learn to roll with it.

3. No More Fear - Because nothing outside of you controls your peace, you stop worrying about losing people, things, or circumstances.

   
   

What Does Inner Independence Feel Like?

Picture this: You wake up in the morning and feel good—really good—not because of what’s happening that day, but simply because you’re alive. You’re no longer running around looking for something to make you feel complete.

When things go your way, you enjoy them. When they don’t, you’re okay with that too. It’s like having a secret superpower that keeps you calm and grounded no matter what life throws your way.

Why This Isn’t the Norm

Let’s be honest: Most people don’t live this way. We live in a society that’s all about chasing the next thing—bigger jobs, better houses, more likes on Instagram. It’s no wonder so many of us feel anxious and stuck.

But here’s the thing: Inner independence isn’t for everyone. It’s for people who are ready to step off the treadmill and start living differently. It’s for those who want something deeper than the quick hits of happiness the world offers.

If that’s you, you’re already ahead of the game. Most people never even realise this kind of freedom exists.

How Do You Start?

The good news is, you don’t need to move to a mountaintop or give up all your stuff to find inner independence. Here are a few simple steps to get started:

1. Notice Your Triggers - Pay attention to when your mood depends on something external. Did a comment from a colleague ruin your day? Did a compliment make you feel amazing?

2. Spend Time Alone - Carve out moments to just be with yourself. Meditation, journaling, or even a quiet walk can help you reconnect with what’s inside.

3. Question Your Beliefs - Ask yourself why you need certain things to feel happy. Are they truly important to you, or is it just what society taught you?

4. Practise Gratitude for Being - Take a moment to just sit and appreciate being alive—no goals, no distractions, no expectations.

   
   

What’s the End Goal?

Inner independence doesn’t mean you stop enjoying life. You can still love deeply, work passionately, and cherish the people and things you care about. But the difference is, you’re no longer dependent on them to feel okay.

You’ll feel free, light, and grounded in a way that no external setback can shake. Imagine walking through life with open hands, ready to embrace whatever comes your way but never clinging to anything.

Why It’s Worth It

Here’s the truth: This kind of inner freedom is rare. Most people will spend their lives chasing happiness outside themselves, never realising it was within them all along. But if you’re reading this, you’re already on the path to something extraordinary.

Inner independence is the kind of treasure that changes everything. It’s the key to living with true peace, no matter what life throws at you. And once you’ve experienced it, you’ll never want to go back.

So, are you ready to take the first step? Start small, and remember—it’s a journey worth taking.